i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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