you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
