Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
