she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
