she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
