okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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