they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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