i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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