I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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