Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
