just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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