this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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