while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
