Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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