wrigley field is MILF paradise
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
