marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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