No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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