have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
