omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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