The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
home. puking in laundry basket.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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