What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
