youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
