it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
