I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
