I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
