My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
