sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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