my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
