The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
