My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
