I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
