so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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