dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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