i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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