you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
