A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
