I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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