went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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