found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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