Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
