just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
