dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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