i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
