I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i drank out of a bidet.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
