Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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