I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
