i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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