seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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