I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's never too late to be topless.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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