my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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