Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
