She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
